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Hi everyone. I am Craig, and I have recently had suicidal thoughts.

In 2018, there were 6,507 suicides according to figures provided by The Samaritans, including the Republic of Ireland, that number rises to 6,859, which equates to 18 per day. Suicide is the single biggest killer of men aged 45 to 49, and a man is three times as likely to kill themselves as a woman.

There are multiple reasons why I’ve lead this post with those depressing figures. Firstly, a large, overwhelming amount of Call Of Duty players are male, albeit under the 45-49 year old range. Secondly, 18 suicides A DAY equates to one roughly every 75 minutes, or three games of Warzone. How many of you play three games in a row without checking the time? Every three games, someone in the UK feels it necessary to take their own life.

Approximately 2 and a bit months ago, I started having thoughts of suicide, and they scared me. Thankfully, I felt able to speak to my loved ones who encouraged me to speak to a doctor who immediately put me on Anti Depressants. At this point in time, though the thoughts have largely stopped, I don’t feel any different. I am told the first Anti Depressant doesn’t always work, and you might need to try two, or maybe three others before you find the right one for you.

I am able to talk freely to people about my issues, to my wife, my family and even work colleagues who are asking after me. PFAM is an inclusive community, as evidenced by spending any time at all on the message boards. Playing Warzone, and finding PFAM has massively helped me, as I now have regular people I play with who only want to have fun, and try and pick up some wins. If I was still playing with randoms, I’d be rage quitting after a couple of games guaranteed, which would do my mental health no good. I rage enough as it is, as anyone who’s played with me can confirm.

I would also encourage anyone who is struggling to put the controller down for a bit! Exercise is a massive help to me at the moment, I’m not talking about 5K runs or training for marathons, but just a simple thirty-minute walk, or an hour of reading. Vegging out in front of the computer playing is so easy, and it’s very easy for it to become a crutch, and I encourage anyone reading this not to let it become so.

Finally, I’ll give you a promise. If you need to talk, I am here and willing to listen. If you don’t feel you can confide in me, then I encourage you to speak to a crisis mental health team, or the samaritans.

Samaritans UK
116 123 (Free to call)

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)
0800 585 858 – 5PM to Midnight

USA National Suicide Prevention Line